He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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