I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
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I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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