Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
