I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
