i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
