i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
