True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
