Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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