OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
