You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So much rum. So many feels.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game