Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.

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(416): Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her. http://tfl.nu/nm33

Replies (10) Good night (1154) Bad night (3192)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.

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(843): there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done. http://tfl.nu/q1zr

Replies (56) Good night (6573) Bad night (1323)
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(805): View more from California

I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"

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(805): I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!" http://tfl.nu/ih8w

Replies (24) Good night (4232) Bad night (793)
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(916): View more from California

I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting

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(916): I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting http://tfl.nu/umsk

Replies (18) Good night (1308) Bad night (3673)
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(254): View more from Texas

his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker

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(254): his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker http://tfl.nu/f6e1

Replies (19) Good night (992) Bad night (9126)
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(678): View more from Georgia

she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy

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(678): she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy http://tfl.nu/57ze

Replies (17) Good night (6213) Bad night (1373)
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(631): View more from New York

I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...

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(631): I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever... http://tfl.nu/ojc2

Replies (25) Good night (1421) Bad night (4522)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.

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(732): You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name. http://tfl.nu/cvf5

Replies (18) Good night (6646) Bad night (1288)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday

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(715): Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday http://tfl.nu/15ro

Replies (6) Good night (2855) Bad night (1084)
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(404): View more from Georgia

It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.

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(404): It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated. http://tfl.nu/7ila

Replies (6) Good night (3050) Bad night (785)
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(916): View more from California

Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.

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(916): Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity. http://tfl.nu/tb29

Replies (4) Good night (3263) Bad night (1061)
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(785): View more from Kansas

he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing

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(785): he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing http://tfl.nu/bfcf

Replies (2) Good night (3591) Bad night (1034)
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(404): View more from Georgia

He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.

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(404): He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump. http://tfl.nu/2ksd

Replies (7) Good night (611) Bad night (2206)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"

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(252): He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you" http://tfl.nu/xyuz

Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (244)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.

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(250): I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start. http://tfl.nu/pmse

Replies (2) Good night (428) Bad night (110)

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