I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
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I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.