Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since

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  (847): he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since http://tfl.nu/tbwd
  Replies (13) Good night (1091) Bad night (3553)
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  (415): View more from California

  Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.

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  (415): Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it. http://tfl.nu/inu8
  Replies (10) Good night (5326) Bad night (681)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  "Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.

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  (239): "Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood. http://tfl.nu/hwa3
  Replies (18) Good night (1392) Bad night (4162)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.

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  (443): Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that. http://tfl.nu/hvnx
  Replies (11) Good night (4634) Bad night (1200)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.

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  (919): Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride. http://tfl.nu/6akp
  Replies (4) Good night (6764) Bad night (1028)
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  (707): View more from California

  Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.

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  (707): Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive. http://tfl.nu/ly82
  Replies (6) Good night (3185) Bad night (1029)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.

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  (902): Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know. http://tfl.nu/6wh4
  Replies (10) Good night (3244) Bad night (1088)
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  (213): View more from California

  You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40

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  (213): You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40 http://tfl.nu/gfeh
  Replies (6) Good night (3992) Bad night (1376)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja

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  (512): we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja http://tfl.nu/0h0h
  Replies (9) Good night (5180) Bad night (860)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?

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  (847): Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off? http://tfl.nu/erc6
  Replies (12) Good night (2599) Bad night (952)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.

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  (339): Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys. http://tfl.nu/p4yk
  Replies (20) Good night (6141) Bad night (849)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.

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  (989): Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning. http://tfl.nu/ngc6
  Replies (2) Good night (764) Bad night (350)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single

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  (615): Vodka tonic time....wish me luck! (1-615): Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single http://tfl.nu/b04m
  Replies (3) Good night (623) Bad night (702)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.

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  (501): Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick. http://tfl.nu/s37k
  Replies (1) Good night (405) Bad night (472)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?

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  (519): Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!? (1-519): Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic? http://tfl.nu/6rsm
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (315)

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