You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
