10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
