I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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