I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
