can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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