i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
