Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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