New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
