If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
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My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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