I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
