and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
