Just fell off a train. Bad.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize