come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have fence marks all over my body
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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