ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
