All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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