I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
