she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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