dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
