Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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