if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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