Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
