He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
