she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
