My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize