gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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