What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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