Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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