Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
