Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
