whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
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He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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