you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I cut my penus on the lid.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
