Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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