I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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