True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
