So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
