That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
