you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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