I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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