my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
