That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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