fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize