If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
