checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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