She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
