once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
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There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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