The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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