Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
